Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How Do I Feel at the End of the Day...

“We can worry about who is this and who is that, we can argue about who does or doesn’t belong. We can talk about how much more legitimate one or another of us is. In the end, we’re all somebody’s freak – and basic human dignity is not a privilege of the lucky superior few, but a right of all or none.” -Gwendolyn Ann Smith
I've been busy. Life is full and so are its challenges, especially for a member of the transgender community.  

I've lost friends and gained new ones. I’d been forced to find new surroundings and met the challenge with open arms. Like most transgender people in this country, I live well below the poverty line ( <$9,000 per year, albeit the concept of “poverty” in this country is relative) I’ve had my life threatened on the streets of Baltimore and the shoebox I sleep in is just cozy enough to refresh me for the morning trek to the bus stop daily.

I can not begin to claim I am an expert on the challenges of small finance and street harassment  but I am working on my Masters.  I am a transgender person without means for FFS, SRS or at least an orchiectomy. I am unable to swirl a fat check (no, not fat chick as I do not want any “hate mail”) into the coffer of those promoting the Slow March to Equality, nor would I want to.

I exist, I believe, at the Will of my Creator.
  The length of the hallway between that door which opens after the other one closes, is sometimes very long, but its always just as long as its supposed to be (Thank you Gil). The experiences I live through, both good and bad simply serve to give me the tools I need at this very moment.

So while I may consider myself one of those at extreme risk of the rampant transphobia which exists in this world, I am not above the principles of spirituality I wish to ascribe to. It’s just that I have a standard I have to uphold irrespective of the chicanery of others.  Because someone professes virtue yet practices them not, I am not excused from my own action. Even if the acts of others increase the risk I face, I have to accept they are as they are supposed to be. I do not have to approve of them. I can stand up against them, however, I must not allow my principles to be martyred.

So, those of privilege who feel they speak aptly for those without and do so with the smugness and hubris of royalty, I wish to offer you peace and wellness. I need not approve of your thinly veiled cries for notoriety and popularity which wherefore previously escaped you. You were simply just the bullied geek in the hall, band instrument in hand, and alone.

I know because we are one in that.

May we grew as one in this.

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